Delirium

So, after finishing the Delirium trilogy, I realized that in this moment, I can completely relate to Lena.  Okay, maybe not in the I’m saving the world way that Oliver’s main character exhibits, but she bucks the system, she goes against what the majority thinks, what she even believes in during the beginning.

Without spoiling the trilogy for anyone who has not read it yet, Lena is a character that a reader sees growth from beginning to end, and I hope this newest challenge I’ve taken on shows I am growing, as a writer that is.

Have you ever felt like you shouldn’t take something on, that someone could do it better?  Well, right now, I have an idea that haunts me, it keeps me up at night, I think about it every daydreaming chance I get, but I don’t write this genre.  I write contemporary pieces.  Why me?  Why this idea?  Well, it’s like a hunger, a thirst I have.  I can’t get rid of it.  Once I sit down, I type and type.  Words come to me until I get that scary feeling, should I be writing this?  Am I just spinning my wheels?  Am I wasting my time?

And then, my writing weasel Catherine gave me the best advice, “That means you should stick with it.”  So, even if it is a complete flop, I’m diving head first into the pool.  Maybe it won’t be a 10, maybe it won’t be a swan dive, but I can’t live in fear.  After all, if I lived in fear of failing, would I even be writing at all?  Probably not.  So, here goes nothing.

Keep Going

Everyone in life gets tired.  One way or another, sometimes I just lack the energy or motivation to keep going.

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These little gems that J gave me as a birthday present, Dark Chocolate Covered Espresso Beans, are my “Keep Going” boost throughout the day when I’m feeling sluggish.  However, when it comes to writing, I need much more….

Last week, I was able to see two of my best friends, Catherine and Rachel.  Not only did we pamper ourselves with dinner, going to see the Host, lunch, and a pedicure, but we talked anything and everything about writing.  I loved it!  It was my boost to work on new creative ideas, which I’ve e-mailed to my critique group, send out queries, and believe.

It’s not that I’ve given up, it’s that I need a mental break and then a caffeine boost, or a weasel boost in my case ;)   So, if you’re feeling down, find someone or something to boost your spirits, don’t give up, and get to work.  Trust me, it’s hard, but in the end, I believe it will be more than worth it.

Change

I’m notorious for wanting/needing a change.  Most of the time, I opt to change-up my hairstyle.  But lately, I’ve wanted to keep the length…so, what to do, what to do?

Welp, I decided to add some color.  I’ve been in a winter funk, craving warmer weather.  So, I decided to throw in some copper and add some layers (I’m not sure the pic below does the new style justice).  I LOVE IT!  I loved it so much that I wrote.  What’s new about me writing?  Not much, other than my WIP falls within a genre outside of my usual comfort zone.  If I had to describe it, I’d compare it to Nora Roberts meets Nicholas Sparks: somewhere between a character growing and finding new romance.

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It’s amazing what a change will do.  In my case, it changed my entire attitude.  My hair, my WIP, it’s all motivated me in other areas of my life.  I suggest that if you find yourself in a funk, whether it’s a seasonal one like my own or not, to change something.  Maybe not your hair, maybe not your writing genre, but something.  Hey, my hair will grow into its natural color, and if I get sick of it, I can always dye it back. ;)

Three Things Make the World Go Round

I’ve decided that there are three things that essentially will help you accomplish anything, particularly exercising and writing.

A Goal

Motivation

A Reminder

With these three things, anything is possible.

In my case, I want to get to a certain point in which I felt good about my body and writing.

Exhibit A:

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I felt good here.  I worked out, I made time for things, I had goals and motivation.

Now, that I’m a big girl with a big girl life, it’s hard to find motivation to reach my goals.  So, I’ve decided this picture will be my reminder for exercising, my goal is a 10K in April, and my motivation is my health.

As for writing, my motivation is my mother, my goal is to tell a story, and my reminder is my degree.

I worked hard in the past, I know I can do it again…I just need to remember these important three things: goals, motivation, and reminders.  With these, I can and will get what I want.

Laughter is Contagious

So, with the flu being crazy this year, I thought about something that is contagious but in a good way…laughter.

Almost three years ago, I held a job position that never felt like a job, a nanny.

Addison, the little angel that I was so privileged to be a caretaker for, never ceases in making me laugh.  And this weekend, I was able to drive two and a half hours to be a part of celebrating her third birthday.  To top it off, I also visited my family.  The 24 hours I am able to be here is totally worth the round-trip drive of five hours.  Having Mom and Dad help me find a good deal at Michael’s, hearing them tease each other, watching Addison laugh and play with her friends at her “nastics” party (for the record, she pronounces gymnastics as nastics)–the weekend was perfect, aside from J, my sister, and brother being absent.

The entire time, I laughed and I played.  I can’t remember the last time I was on a trampoline for just the purpose to jump (which the last time I was on a trampoline was when I took Addison to her first gymnastics class a year ago!).  It was good to escape the negativity of the world and focus on something so little and so big at the same time…to just live life.

So, if you’re feeling down, find something that makes you laugh.  As generally a glass is half empty kind of girl, it’s amazing what laughter can do for you.

And with that said, I vow to take that goodness laughter evoked in me and get to work on my ever growing to-do list, starting with grading and querying, two things I’ve put on the back burner.  Let’s hope the laughter bug sticks with me a little longer :)

Goals

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After vacationing, ringing in the New Year, and reading Catherine Drake’s blog post on the New Year, I’ve decided that it’s a good thing to fail, sometimes….

Don’t get me wrong, it’s always nice to succeed, but without failure, what drives us?

After visiting New Orleans, which was a spectacular vacation and included seeing Anthony Davis, Tim Tebow, and watching the Florida Gators (favored to win the Sugar Bowl), lose 33-23, I thought about failure.  Should we be ashamed of failing, or turn that failure into so much more, motivation?

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I’m generally a Debbie Downer, but as of lately, I’ve thought about what makes us stronger, failing.  It’s always nice to set goals, and if you don’t accomplish those goals, revise and try again.  Take a look at the writing/publishing goals I constantly set for myself: finish a new manuscript, query agents, secure agent, secure publishing deal.  If you know me, you know that I’ve accomplished number one and number two, but I’ve yet to secure an agent or a publishing deal.  But, I like to tell myself to keep pushing forward.  If I can’t take constructive criticism or rejection, how will I ever accomplish anything?

There’s plenty I want to accomplish in the New Year, and recently I’ve been big on lists, so take a look at the one I’ve drafted on goals for myself to achieve in the year 2013:

-Write a new manuscript (always an annual goal)

-Secure an agent

-Take a summer vacation

-Pay it forward (I held the door open for a woman entering Starbucks just before Christmas and in return, she bought my beverage–small acts of kindness are always nice, even without a reward)

-See my family more often

-Relax, stress less (J will appreciate this one)

-Workout (and not to lose a few pounds but just to feel good about myself–strengthen my knee, take my stress out on something, etc.)

-Plan a vacation (even if it doesn’t happen in the year 2013) to another country

So, it’s quite a long list, one I don’t think I’ll completely fulfill, but it’s nice to have goals to look forward to.  And even if I fail at some of them, I have somewhere to start in the year 2014. :)

Tis the Season

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, mostly due to my hectic schedule of traveling to see family and working all of the time.  But, tis the season!  This is one of my favorite times of year.  The lights, the cheer, the togetherness, I know…I sound like a Hallmark card :)

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A lot, and I mean a lot, has been going on people.  I was sick, my parents moved out of the house we last lived in as a family, work, work, and more work, my little sister’s graduation, and now Christmas!  Whew, it’s been a whirlwind, but all worth it.

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Even though I was sick, I couldn’t help love being around my family: having my brother pick on me, my mom take care of me, chatting with my sister late at night, and watching sports with my dad.  The one thing I missed, J.  It’s this time of year which allows us to realize what is truly important to us, to love and be loved.  With all the tragedy in the world, I am so grateful that I am so loved and surround myself with such wonderful people.

And to top it off, all I’ve been asked lately is if I believe the world is going to end on Friday.  For the record, I don’t.  There’s a song by Awolnation, “Kill Your Heroes” and a line perfectly explains how I feel about 12/21, “Don’t let your fear decide your fate”.  Even if the world ends on Friday, I want to live my life to the fullest and appreciate what I have, who I have, and look forward to my future, because if anything as of lately, life is a blessing.

Merry Christmas, folks!